Do you ever lie to cover up the drinking?

Published by at 3:09 pm under Common Concerns

Welcome to First Steps to Al-Anon Recovery. This is a series of podcasts to discuss some common concerns for people who have been affected by someone else’s drinking.

Today Ann, Bob, and Anne will tell us if they ever told lies to cover up for someone else’s drinking problems.

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55 comments on “Do you ever lie to cover up the drinking?”

  1. Alex says:

    This makes me cry
    9 years of lies
    Our 5th anniversary, I came home, he was so drunk & lied, like I am dumb, worst is he drove around with our toddler, he continues to lie, it’s always just one more. He even lied about a stubbie tonight. I don’t have the energy anymore, it’s impacting the key ss, impacts me & he doesn’t care, tells me to move one that was yesterday. My 3 year old is starting to really act out & I don’t want this snow more, but I have nothing, when I had everything- he’s taken everything from me!!!

  2. Angela says:

    What do I do???
    We have 4 kids total, 2 are biologically his. We work full time, have 2 toddlers under 4, been together 6 years. He’s had 3 dui’s, racked up court fees, he’s on informal probabtion- not supposed to touch alcohol. He’s supposed to go to AA, been to jail 4 times in our relationship. He’s also supposed to have an interlock device in his vehicle which he doesn’t. Were about to sign a lease for a bigger home since we’ve been crammed for over 5 years in a small space. He said he would quit and get help. His bosses who he has aloy.of respect for, even sat down with him and discussed where he could be at in the company, if he got
    his life together. I was about to leave him ,far far away. He said he WANTS to quit. Tonight he was the only person responsible for 3 kids while I worked and came home to find a receipt of 3 bottles of 99 banana scotch 100ml. Bottles each.i am BEYOND mad right now. It’s taking everything in me to NOT go in there and wake him up and tell him I KNOW and he lied to me also when I asked him if today was making #7 without drinking. Guess NOT!!!! ????????

  3. Cathy says:

    Yes it sounds like what’s going on at my house .it’s making my stomach hurt I can’t get sleep with all the screaming .he has financial problems and he’s dragging me down.I pay most of the housepayment car food household items dog food and vet bills for the animals it’s getting old.he maxed out a charge card that we have a ddt for and have to pay the taxed.also he had our property in default till I refinanced everything in my name. Which is a lot of stress if he don’t help a lititle I have nothing.I’m just sick about everything.almost ready to leave tired of feeling scared. Verbal abused I never know what lie will come out next
    My recycle container is full of glass beer bottles and vodka bottles .any advice

  4. Jerzey says:

    I’m going on 43 yrs of this crap. Why? Idk. The lies the ruined moments the list is so long. He has driven drunk with or without the kids. 35 yrs ago he left them in car to drink in bar. My mom was a drunk and had 5 husbands. I swore I’d never be like her and this is why I stay. Now there are grand kids. I shld leave. I do not have an ounce of trust for him. He’s lied every lie. I hate him. And I am stuck.

  5. Rox says:

    My boyfriend and I have been together for 6 years and have two young kids together. We used to drink pretty heavily together a few summers ago but the last year I was pregnant with my son and have been breastfeeding so I haven’t had a drink with him since before I got pregnant. He however continued drinking through my pregnancy and told me he would quit numerous times and that he would quit when our son was born. He never did…In fact it got worse. He was drinking a fifth every night. I finally broke down and blew up about the money he was spending on it and his emotional outbursts when he was drunk. He also started having heart palpitations and health issues because of it. He slowed his drinking down from a bottle a night to a six pack and then less or so I thought. He swore up and down that he only drinks on the weekend and only one six pack. Well I started stumbling on hidden beer cans and liquor bottles in our garage and I then felt betrayed and lied to. I feel like such a fool. I confronted him about all his hidden stashes and he blew up in a defensive rage and he threatened to leave me and break up our family and blamed the whole thing on me. That it was my fault he drank because I didn’t make him feel wanted and good about himself and that I wasn’t being supportive that I was nagging and judging. I am worried about his health, our family, our money which we don’t have enough to even pay our bills and that our relationship is taking a hit from the distrust and lack of communication. He is impossible to talk to about it for he blows up and fights with me and I’m threatened that he will break up our family over his problem. After all that passed and I put a tough face on to keep us together and save what love we had left for each other…I am now sitting here once again terrified to confront him on the massive stashes of alcohol ive been finding all over the house and garage. I just want us to be happy again and feel so afraid to say anything about my findings and that I feel absolutely betrayed that he continued to lie and hide his drinking. Don’t want to fight with him again and cause any chance of him blaming me or breaking our family. I just don’t know what to do. He is a great man and father when he wants to be but his drinking has put a major strain on our relationship and any love or intimacy I would want to share with him. I have suggested counseling but he just keeps making up excuses about the counseling place is booked up or that he has called numerous times but I know he hasn’t. Wish I could just shake him and tell him what an idiot he’s being but I know you can’t make someone quit who doesn’t want to quit. He has to make the decision for himself. Just lost loving an alcoholic. Don’t know how long I can handle this roller coaster ride.

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