How did I feel at my first Al-Anon meeting?
Welcome to the fifth of six Al-Anon Family Group podcasts, especially recorded to introduce you to Al-Anon meetings.
Was my first face-to-face Al-Anon meeting what I expected, or was it something different?
17 Comments on “How did I feel at my first Al-Anon meeting?”
At my first meeting I felt numb. I felt emotional. I felt fearful. I felt sad. Yet I felt amazed. Who would have known there was a place where people sat and talked about alcoholism as a family illness? Who would have thought so many people were experiencing what I was and that they weren’t as hopeless? I don’t remember any faces, but I do remember people were calm, sensible, and kind. Those traits were not demonstrated in my home. The meeting members welcomed me, gave me a One Day at a Time book, and encouraged me to return. The first meeting I attended seemed like a miracle that I simply didn’t understand. I knew I was in the right place, even if despair had led me there.
At my first Al-Anon meeting I felt that I was alone until I heard the others at the meeting sharing their stories and I could not believe that I was not alone. As of today I have been going to a weekly meeting for seven weeks and I have started noticing some changes in myself. I am so grateful for Al-Anon.
I cried in my first meeting because I felt like I came home. Around the table sat people talking about all the things that we did not at home when i grow up. I came back and Im happy I did!
I went to my first meeting feeling like I was at a bottom of a deep dark hole, out of which I would never come out. When I was asked to share I could only cry. Everyone hugged me. When I saw all the glowing & happy faces of the members, I knew that something works at these meetings, even though then I did not know what it was. I just knew that I was at the right place and that this was the place for me.
When I went to my first meeting, I was angry and only went for my “children’s” sake and to look like the good parent. I only intended on going to one meeting to get someone off my back and never go back but when I walked into that room that night with 3 kids, no alateen mtg, and welcoming smiling faces I was shocked. I could not believe people who lived with or have lived with in the past alcoholism/addiction and could be happy much less smile. It kept me coming back to see if this recovery was real.
I am so grateful for Al-Anon and the recovery tools it has to offer. I have learned so much from peoples experience, strength and hope through the several years that I have attended. I found a place of safety, a place where people truly knew what others were going through and could relate.
Today I cannot imagine my life without Al-Anon. It is a part of my life and I am truly grateful that my higher power, God, led me to the rooms 11 years ago. The words Welcome and Keep Coming Back were important and encouraging to me. Everytime I see a newcomer to a meeting I am reminded of when I went to my first meeting and I make sure I welcome them to the meeting and encourage them to keep coming back…it is worth it!
I came to my first Al-Anon meeting very suspicious. I felt disgraced plus no one in my family ever went to a therapist let alone a support group. So, now I was disgracing my family.
All of my negative feelings and suspicians melted in an instant. There were five members in the group and they all welcomed me. No one in my entire life ever welcomed me the way the Al-Anon members did. I had done a lot of things that I was ashamed of in trying to get my husband to stop drinking. Even I didn’t want to sit next to me.
I felt awkward. I was the youngest person in the room. But I felt like maybe that meant that if I kept coming to Al-Anon, I would live a long time. I didn’t trust adults and avoided speaking to people over 30 years old and now I was turning nearly 30 myself. So, I knew that something had to change in my thinking. My mind started to open up because I thought just maybe these Al-Anon people knew something about dealing with someone’s drinking that I didn’t.
I intended to just listen and not say anything. But before I knew it, I had a “meltdown.” I was so relieved to finally be with people who understood what I was going through.
I felt reassured by the group that no situation, even mine, was hopeless. I left knowing that I was in the right place and could hardly wait until the next meeting.
I took phone numbers of the members and really believed that the members really meant it when they said “call me.” So, I left my first meeting feeling no longer alone and that Al-Anon could help me if I would give it a try.
I am 57 years old.
I had alcoholic parents.
I have had emotional problems all my life.
Thanks to a friend, and some thought on the matter I realize many of my difficulties in life may indeed stem from my parents alcoholism.
I am glad Al-Anon is there. Perhaps one day I may come and see if there is any way to mprove things this late in the game.
I went to my first meeting last week. I was thrown and confused by it yet my week was an entirely different week than ever before because of that first miracle, in other words, I don’t understand but I feel positive changes happening in a directional way although many things are crumbling down around me. I am committed to going to another meeting tonight and will read and keep going. I am inspired by all that people share. I am learning that humility and self esteem are one and the same. I am learning that listening and reading brings truth and thereby strength to every present moment. I am learning that resting in HP’s care is the way to go. I am very panicky and sad but there is finally space around those feelings and in that space is hope. I was very moved reading above “But I felt like maybe that meant that if I kept coming to Al-Anon, I would live a long time.” Thank you!
My first meeting was a speaker meeting. There was a woman standing by the podium and as she was sharing her story, she was telling mine almost word for word. I was very angry but at the same time I felt relief because it was the first time in my life where I felt like I was finally home. I was at a place where people spoke my language. The uniqueness and isolation would begin to lift slowly and with time. Thank you Al-Anon!
I was excited about the meeting at first because I knew that I was finally not alone! There are others out there like me. At my first meeting, listening to everyone, I knew this was for me. This was going to help. I was able to tell my story and even though I didn’t know anyone there, they did not judge me and made me feel everything will be ok. It opened up my eyes and my mind. THANK YOU AL-ANON
My first meeting was a Step meeting and it was the the 3rd Step they were on–not a great first meeting because it’s all about your higher power. To that I have resentments because I wonder where he was when I was growing up. But in the same breath, I was thinking I pray to him every night. So don’t be put off if you don’t enjoy your first meeting. There are many more you will enjoy.
The podcast was very knowledgable and I enjoyed it so much I will attend a meeting in person. My husband is an alcoholic, and I need the help.
Thank you–Candace J.
At my first Al-Anon meeting I was very nervous. I trusted no one. I kept my eyes peeled on all. I tried to listen. I was not much of a talker. I had no self-esteem. No pride in myself or my opinions enough to share. After all was told, I would never qualify in the hearing world.
Oh, yeah, I was darn scared. I had no communication skills with other humans. I received so many mixed messages. Parents say I love you then yell at you for causing parents to argue over what I knew not.
Folks at the meeting seemed nice, I guess. I mean, I didn’t have to duck from flying things. They were very quiet, these Al-Anon members. They all sat and listened to the speaker without a word , until asked to share. Wow, these folks are organized. They had respect for others. Now that’s something I never received in my alcoholic home. I was told not to speak, period. Seen and not heard was the rule for children in my home. If they say jump, I jumped. Did not ask how high. Prayed to God it was high enough. I did not want to get swatted by a belt or a paddle with holes.
Yes, I was very scared, not knowing what to expect from people outside my home. Oh, no, I had no friends. Never knew when dad might be at home sprawled on the floor or stairs. Oh, God, it was frightening.
Those folks at my first meeting were so kind and gentle–not bossy. This was so different for me. Thank you, Al-Anon, for what you have given me. Through your slogans and tools, I am where I am today.
I decided to go to my first Al-Anon meeting because I had hit bottom. I didn’t know who I was anymore. I didn’t know who I could talk to anymore.
At my first meeting everyone introduced themselves and told a part of their story. Then a voice that at first I didn’t recognize told my story. I sat there thinking how does this person know about my life. Then I realized that my Higher Power was speaking through me. He knew that I had to get my story out. That I needed the help from the tables of Al-Anon.
I felt hope as I do today some 20+ years later when I located this site. My life has been affected by alcohol and drugs without using them. It is work one day at a time to take care of me. Some days are easier than others. Today I was especially tired and lonely and I just was looking for that serenity I would feel at a meeting. Thanks, I needed it.
Attending a complete Al-Anon meeting came very gradually for me, because since the first meeting I attended I couldn’t just stay in the meeting room until the end of the meeting. I felt scared, uncomfortable, and I was very uneasy. Nowadays I still don’t remember what the topic was in my first meeting, what the members said or shared. I was, I think, kind of overwhelmed.
When my sister died of another “ism,” I resolved to get to Al-Anon that year, my qualifiers being most of my remaining siblings. I was proud of myself for getting there. Higher Power got me to the right meeting. The reading was from the book, “From Survival to Recovery,” which SO described my childhood. I knew I was in the right place.
The group was small & struggling with few members willing/able to do service, so I took on the literature pretty quickly–all as it was meant to be. It was the TONE of long-time members that was soothing, I wasn’t able to really HEAR things for quite a while, but my inner nudge that got me there, also helped me to keep coming back.