Feb 01 2010
Step Two
“Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.”
Welcome to the “Using Al-Anon’s Steps in Our Personal Lives” blog. Many people are aware of the Twelve Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous and understand how they apply to the alcoholic’s goal of finding sobriety, but few are aware that Al-Anon Family Groups adapted these Steps in 1951 as a program of personal progress and family recovery.
This series of podcasts discusses how Al-Anon’s Twelve Steps have helped people successfully handle a variety of challenges associated with the family illness of alcoholism.
The topic of today’s podcast is Step Two.
Podcast: Play in new window | Download
33 comments
When I came into Al-Anon my life was totally unmanagable. I was physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually bankrupt. I was in counseling going through divorce and left for Battered Women’s Shelter. I went to seven Al-Anon meetings a week.
I had to completely turn my life over to my Higher Power. Both my daughter & I were abused.
Step Two reminds me that I have come to believe in a power greater than myself, and that this Power can restore me to sanity.
This phrase may sound very abstract but in fact it is a very practical “Stop Sign” for me to use when I feel compelled or driven to try to fix others, manage a situation, or to deny my feelings in a given situation.
Step Two re-orients my mind from “I-have-to-try-harder” to seeking help from a Higher Power.
Many times that Higher Power’s guidance will come in the voice of an Al-Anon member, in a book that leaps off a shelf into my hands. Sometimes I hear it in a song lyric, or it bubbles up into my mind when I have quieted myself in prayer and meditation.
Step One encouraged me to surrender a battle I could not win. Step Two shows me how to use my energies and my intellect to focus on the Power that CAN and WILL make a difference in my sanity.
How offensive this step sounded the first time I heard it? I couldn’t fathom how “I” could possibly be the insane one. After all, wasn’t I doing EVERYTHING I could to fix this family?
Today I know that thinking I had the POWER to control or fix anything or anyone is absolutely an insane thought process. I wasn’t bad. Far from it. My Higher Power and I know just how hard I tried to make things better, on my own. Thanks to alanon and the steps, I now know that living with the disease of alanon is too much for me to handle on my own. I need this fellowship and a Higher Power to help me to learn a new, healthier, saner way of life.
I recognize the insanity in my life today and that is tremendous progress. Because, when I see it coming, I now have the tools from recovery to help me. I am no longer alone, fighting the battle against alcoholism silently, while presenting a “got-it-all-together” face to the public. I am among people who have walked these step and understand, like no-one else can, the frustration, fear and insanity of living with this disease.
I have learned in recovery that I can be sane, no matter what the alcoholics in my life are doing. That I am not in charge of everyone and everything. They have their own Higher Powers (and I may have, in fact, been taking away their dignity and standing in the way of their own growth and recovery). There is a loving power, much greater than myself, who raises the sun each morning and sets it again at night, without any help from me. I can rely on that power 100% of the time. It has been my experience that each and everytime I ask my Higher Power for help, the help shows up.
That is why I firmly believe that a power greater than myself can restore me to sanity.
I have just returned home from my home group meeting where I just found out about this
web site. I have listened to the recordings and read the member comments and find it excellent.
My meeting tonight was on Step 2 and I learned that we all share this “insanity”. When I first
came into the program I thought it was the alcoholic who was insane and I was the one with
all the right answers. It took me a long time going to meetings, listening and just absorbing
the program to get past my “attitude”.
“Insanity” is defined as “doing the same thing over and over again expecting to achieve a different result”.
I did this for years but before Al Anon I just didn’t get it. I kept on making all the same
mistakes thinking that if I just got it right – I could fix this. Then came Al Anon and my
realization of just what I had been doing. Beating myself up over things I just had no control
over.
Through Al Anon, the Steps, Traditions and Slogans, I have “come to” and realized I can’t
Control it, I can’t Cure it, I can’t Change it and I didn’t Cause it. My 4 C’s. Every day I repeat
this to myself, in not only the Alcoholism part of my life, but in all aspects. It keeps my head
in the right space and I have ceased (for the most part) obsessing over things I have no
business being a part of. It’s just not my stuff – as someone said to me once – “It’s not my dog”
I don’t have to control those things that don’t belong to me. What a freedom that has given me.
Thank you Al Anon.
STEP 2 – CAME TO BELIEVE THAT A POWER GREATER THAN OURSELVES COULD RESTORE US TO SANITY–I was for sure out of control with my thoughts and actions when I came into the program and I knew it. But my thinking kept telling me if he would just quit drinking everything would be just fine.
First before I had sanity, I had to understand that I was powerless and I had to understand the disease of alcoholism.
I had religion of a God but not of a Higher Power. I kept expecting God to do for me what I asked him to do, not realizng that I also had to be willing to do his WILL not mine.
After a lot of meetings and reading daily literature, getting a sponsor, working the steps, I have came to believe that a power greater than myself can restore me to sanity when I allow my HP to do for me what I can not do for myself.
Step 2 is an excellent reminder that I do not have to do everything on my own. That I do not have to keep spinning all those plates and taking on other people’s feelings, problems, etc. Everyone has a bottom. When you reach that bottom, the knowledge of a Higher Power gets put into action. I have had a formal knowledge and faith in a Higher Power (God) for a long time. When I get out of the way and let God do for me what I can’t, then life gets better. I also realize now that I don’t have to let it get to my bottom anymore to have my Higher Power’s help. God is doing things for me all the time. I just get blind to His loving touches on my life. Letting Go and Letting God doesn’t mean I do nothing and quit living or trying, but that I have life in its proper perspective. Proper perspective and balanced living means that I acknowledge that there is a Higher Power out there. I am not by myself. That is sanity!
Step two:
has help me learn to let go. I use my Higher Power to help me stay focused that I am never alone in this journey. When I get “insane” over the circumstances in my life I lean hard on my Higher Power and when things are going well I continue to utilize my Higher Power to continue to strengthen myself.
Step 2. Came-began going to Al-Anon meetings, Came to-woke up to reality-I was heavily into denial, Came to believe-it’s a process. A power greater than ourselves-I grew up in a strongly religious household. I learned many good things, but also picked up some pretty immature ideas. For example, thinking that God would answer my prayers by just fixing everything was very passive approach on my part. Learning that even as I request things of our HP, I need to do the footwork has been a valuable Al-anon lesson. I also deal with not thinking of God as a terrorist-we had a tragedy in my family many years ago in which 3 children died. It affected me more deeply than I knew at the time.Through Al-Anon, and the wonderful people there, and their faith: I am beginning to believe in a caring Higher Power whom I chose to call the Divine Mother. Believing is a process, not a one time event. Could restore me to sanity-my insanity relates to the first step. I am insane when I think I have power over other people, places, and situations. My life is unmanageable when I try to exert this imaginary power. I have sanity when I live MY life, with the guidance of my HP. I am learning and growing. Often filled with doubt, but trusting. I am so grateful for this program and all of you. Thank you.
I call step 2 my only “Yes, but” because in step one Yes, I am powerless and my life is unmanageable, BUT – in step two I can be restored to sanity, there is help and hope. In Al-anon when I say “yes, but….” I’m justifying my actions or motives.
With the connection from step 1 to step 2, I face reality and then see what I can do with what I have.
This step really came alive for me when I started working the steps with my sponsor. I didn’t realize how deep my trust issues were, and that I have never trusted my “god” or Higher Power, until working this step and all that is means. Taking a look at how my life was ‘insane’ and how many times I open the door for insanity to walk all over me was a good thing to do with my sponsor.
Recognizing when I’m about to ’stir up a big kettle of crazy’ helps me take a step back and do something different. Instead of the same old thing and get the same ugly result.
Today I see an intimate connection between the Second and Eleventh Steps. If I am going to accept and believe in my POWER, whom I know as God, then I have to begin at once to make conscious contact with him, if my belief is to be worth anything.
If I don’t seek closer contact with God, then I am probably not going to be restored to sanity; or at the very least, the restoration of my sanity may be minimal, not enough to do much good. A POWER without prayer and meditation is meaningless.
Before I came into Al-Anon, I was really a power all to myself. My ego told me that ‘God’ had abandoned me long ago, and left me with far too much to handle. So … the ‘powerful anne’ told her God that being abandoned was OK … anne could handle everything.
When I hit a bottom, I found myself on my knees, very humbled and desiring the knowledge to stop the pain.
Through my willingness to let go of my ego, my desire to control … I found great joy in being powerless, and then great Love in finding my HP again.
All of this was not an overnight miracle. I had to really work so hard at giving to my HP my insanity, simply because it is in my nature to want to control. But, I know two things, and I try to stick to these two issues.
1. My HP has me in his/her mind’s eye all the time. I am never, ever alone. This I call Faith.
2. My HP’s will/desire for me is to grow, be joyful and happy. I have to allow my HP to work through me, that is, NOT my will, but yours. This I call Trust.
If I do not trust my HP to take good care of me — to lead me to sanity — then I know that I have undermined myself and my acknowledgement of Step 1 — that I am powerless over alcohol.
I came to Al-Anon absolutely desperate for sanity, and I have learned so much about myself and all of the As in my life. Alongside of this knowledge has also grown a deep and very loving relationship with my HP. I believe very strongly now — again — through Al-Anon and the steps that whatever happens to me, I will always belong to my HP and will always be strongly loved by my HP.
Like Lyn above, I too lean hard on my HP. when things get tough … I often find myself nagging my HP — doing some weeping and wailing, begging for help … and help always comes — always.
This love is wonderful.
On my part too, my own willingness to be humble — to be needy of my HP’s guidance — to be willing to learn — to listen — to stop and think — to have Faith and Trust … then I WILL be restored to sanity.
When I think of Step 2, I ask myself “what do I believe in?” For me this question is 2-fold: first I do believe in a Power greater than me that can restore me back to sound thinking and wants the best for me, whatever that may look like, and usually a calm voice that speaks lovingly to me (when I turn off the mental chatter long enough to listen) or through others or at a meeting. The second asks me “what to I believe right now?” Currently I’m unemployed, looking for work, down with a bad cold, worrying if I’ll be able to keep my property, especially under these conditions and in this economy. Closer inspection of my thoughts through reflection and writing reveals a lot of fear, panic, hopeless uncertainty and ultimately homeless destitute poverty. So at any given moment I believe in a hopeless, fearful world with problems for which I have no solution and in most cases, little control. Choosing to believe something greater than me allows me to hope more and ultimately reminds me that, just for today, everything is going to be okay. Today is the only time I have and the only time I have to work with – here and now. And if just for a moment I believe in hope, I am more inclined to make saner decisions, and take wiser actions. They’re more often small decisions compared to the big ones I think I need to resolve, but by slowly make one sane decision at a time or taking one sane action at a time, I am gradually restored to sane thinking.
I did come to believe I could be restored to sanity just by seeing “sane” people in meetings. Those individuals talked more sensibly and behaved more rationally than I did. I realized that “being restored to sanity” meant living as a reasonable person would. That included eating meals on time, focusing on my own life and success, and eliminating all the “don’t” behaviors that undermined my serenity. Santiy was keeping on my own path and not taking the eratic detours that go with the merry-go-round of alcoholism. You might say I learned to get back on the sane path of living 9-5 instead of the insane alcoholic route I was on 24-7!
I had trouble with being “restored to sanity” because I believe I was never sane! I believe I was born “insane” in that I was born “broken somehow in mind and spirit”. Then one day I heard an AA guy share that he couldn’t be “restored” to sanity because he was never sane in the first place and so he thought of Step Two as “being made sane”. I found great comfort in identifying with him and with “being made sane.” The longer I stay in Al-Anon, the more sanity I’ll get! (I go to AA meetings as part of my Al-Anon Recovery.)
Great idea, this “page”!
What does insanity mean? I grew up with the disease of alcoholism, and so insanity boils down to “fear”. An emotion that drives the disease of alcoholism. Fear still has the power to overshadow the simplest activities, and turn them into dreadful events. Most of my life was spent in denying this. I learned the survival tools of control and cajole to escape my fear. Fear sparked by the anger, violence, and confusion of drunken parents and other relatives. Alcoholism is a family disease of fear.
Life was unmanageable then as it can be today. To be restored to sanity is to experience life free of fear. This was not happening for me. It is a short coming, a character defect that grips my spirit. And in it, I continued to experience life as unmanageable. With Step Two my healing begins. What stood out for me in my recent reading from “Paths…” was the promise that my belief in a Higher Power could restore beauty, love, serenity and sanity to my life.
I do experience beauty and love, but serenity and sanity were still illusive. Their absence was an inside job. In reading “ from Survival to Recover” I learned about one of those defects, perfectionism. It too is fueled by my fear. Freedom from perfectionism and fear would also allow “recreation, enthusiasm, and delight” into my life.
Al-Anon has the power to change me. Attending meetings, reading CAL literature, and deepening my belief in the God of my understanding by working the Steps has the power to change me. Recently, I have found that I can let go of fear. I can let go and let God. Al-Anon has the power to change me on the inside, and to restore serenity, sanity, enthusiasm and delight to my life.
This step has brought me peace. The peace I find when I release the unmanageability and responsibility into the hands of a higher power. Each day I am finding a few moments to clarify what is important in my life for this day, bringing me serenity. I am living with more calmness and a sense that there is a higher power hearing and addressing my prayers by bringing me an understanding that the responsibilities and worries are His.
Sometimes I have to re-word a step until it makes sense. To me this step is more accurate to my pre-Al-Anon life when it reads:
“Came to believe that a power greater than insanity could restore me to myself.”
This is what happened with me. I would have these ridiculous, insane, uncaring reactions to the alcoholic in my life and think:
This makes sense
This must be what everybody does when confronted with this situation
This is normal
In short, I would “lose myself”. I had to believe that my higher power is stronger than the considerable dust I kick up in my life and the lives of others. I vividly recall doing those insane things we all do and thinking “Why am I doing this? I don’t want to, but here I am doing it anyway. It doesn’t even feel like it’s me in here.” It was almost an out-of-body experience; it certainly was an out-of-my-mind experience. Step 2 took hold of me when I acknowledged to my higher power that, as he already well knew, there are some things I just can’t do anything about. The only thing I can do is use my higher power’s guidance to get back to the person I know I am, and live from that.
Digging deeper into Step Two, I have come to understand the pivotal role this Step has in our recovery from this horrid disease:
Came to Believe – The “miracle” through which I am awakened to a new reality,
That – the pivot on which my reality turns from hopelessness to recovery,
A Power – the Love that I find in the rooms of Al-Anon,
Greater Than – the measure of which surpasses my humble understandings,
Ourselves – the ego that had me struggling just to survive,
Could Restore – the ability to transform me to a new reality,
Us – in our fellowship I never have to be alone again in the clutches of this disease,
To Sanity – a life filled with love, hope, patience, serenity, peace, goodwill, enthusiasm, courage, and God !
For me in reading and committing my life to practicing Step Two, I experience a conversion to a spirit-filled life beyond my wildest imaginings.
CAME TO BELIEVE THAT A POWER GREATER THAN OURSELVES COULD RESTORE US TO SANITY.
What I have begun to truly embrace with my heart is the feeling of “we” this is a communal program. I am no longer alone. I no longer am attempting to do it harder, faster, more efficiently and all the time feeling it wasn’t ever good or perfect enough anyway.
Now I am free because I am part of a “we” that is seeking to lovingly embrace sanity one step, one breath, one loving thankful choice at a time.
The Power that is within me is forever telling me: YES, you are restored dear. YES, you belong. YES, you are suitable, loveable and YES you are now safe and apart of a loving non-critical family.
I am thanking you all, my Al-Anon family for a sense of belonging to circles where I am safe to “be” and in my own willingness to believe in something greater than my self I am consistently given the priceless gift of Serenity. Thank you for all I am perpetually gifted by accepting my place ODAT in these lovely spiritual AFG’s. Amen.
Step two is one of my favorites and was one of the hardest steps for me to work the first time because I wasn’t sure that I had a higher power, at least not one that cared about me or wanted good things for me.
It took a while for me to find a higher power of my own understanding (which has now transformed into a higher power that I may never understand but hopefully understands me).
I travelled a long road in the Al-Anon program to find serenity and peace and hope and then crisis hit and it felt as though it was all ripped away from me.
Because of this loving program I know that there truly is “no situation to difficult to be bettered and no unhappiness to great to be lessened.” I did come to believe that there was something bigger than me, something that could restore not only my sanity but also my faith and serenity. This is what gives me comfort now as I grieve my loss. I know the way back….I wouldn’t be able to say that without this program.
In a step meeting I recently attended a dear friend shared her thoughts on step one and two. ‘Admitted we were powerless over alcohol, that our lives had become unmanageable UNTIL we came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.’ This made me realize (even more-so) that I have a choice. Sanity/serenity/faith/peace/courage….they aren’t prizes that our higher power hands out randomly, they are gifts that we are offered and we have a choice of whether or not to accept them.
I to was insane, but I didn’t think so before Al-anon. It took alot of years and a doctor to help me find Al-anon. All my life I was around alcoholism. And I felt my ideas were the way to go and my control. Once I found the rooms of al-anon and started to listen and read and work the steps
my life changed for the better. Step 2 made me see that my HP was always there, I just didn’t see it. My life is much more happier and calmer since I let him help me. I know now I”am not alone, because of the al-non friends and my HP, Life looks so much better now.
I work at it every day, because I know what it has done for me in the last 2 years. I want thank everyone for their sharings. Serenity is the way to go. My family don’t understand me because they are still caught up in the sanitty and ask what is wrong with me. Some day I hope they find their way to al-non.
Thank – You
Al-non
Today I can see the insanity that I played a role in during those years of living with/in the disease of alcoholism. I remember when I hit bottom emotionally and cried out to my father for help. To help me with the pain, fear and blackness that enveloped me. I was on my knees, tears streaming down my face and all I felt was fear and the need to escape it (die). I must have stayed in that postion for what semed like hours until I crawled into bed throuly spent and fell asleep. When I awoke the next morning it felt like a heavy burden had been lifted from me..it was the first morning I had awaken without tears on my face or from a scream that had been coming from me. This is when I knew that Father heard me and I would be restored to sanity. In this program I have found His direction and I am doing the best I can to be the person my father would want me to be. I truly believe I am being restored to sanity one day at a time, one situation at a time.
Thanks for this page…I did find it helpful. I can relate to many of the sad, trying to control and change… feelings described above. I haven’t attended any meetings, but this gave me insight to what I need to do with myself to tryi to accept and survive.
Step One was easy (smiles), but I really struggled with Step Two. I was not the crazy one… was I??
Believing that there was a power greater than myself was really not that hard. All I had to do was look around to see the mess my life was in- to know that there really had to be a power greater than me! But… I needed to be restored to sanity? I had a great deal of difficulty with Step Two, especially with the second part of this step.
So, first things first! In Step Two, we are invited to explore our relationship with a power greater than ourselves- our Higher Power. I was not sure who or what my Higher Power was. I had not been raised in a religious home: my parents were either atheists or agnostics. I was taught to be self-reliant and that no one would take care of me but myself. Honestly, I was not very comfortable with the word G-o-d. I did not understand why everyone in the Al-Anon group seemed so happy, but they all had Higher Powers- so I wanted one, too! At first, I think that I relied on the Al-Anon group as my Higher Power. I liked the way we opened every meeting with the Serenity Prayer and I noticed that I always felt better- more connected- after a meeting. We held hands and prayed at the end. My sponsor encouraged me to start reciting the Serenity Prayer and it helped! She said that I did not have to believe in God to pray. I could just “act as if” I believed. I felt better when I said the Serenity Prayer during stressful times. I also liked a phrase I had heard during my childhood “Thy Will be done.”
My sponsor showed me that we can define our God any way we like. We do not have to automatically accept the God we learned about as children, as the God of our understanding today. She asked me to list all the qualities a perfect Higher Power would have. This exercise helped me gradually come to believe in my Higher Power as a best friend, a power that I could always turn to, a God who loves me completely and unconditionally- just the way I am! What a gift!
Now I could see that my behavior had contributed to the chaos in my home. Trying over and over again to control anyone’s behavior- much less an alcoholic’s- and expecting things to be different was a form of insanity. I started to see that I lived my life in a strange form of denial. I did not really see things clearly. I was so focused on the alcoholic and the other crazy people in my life, that I did not see my part in the “merry-go-round of denial.“
Today, I believe in a loving Higher Power that I choose to call God. I cherish this loving friend and partner and connect with Him on a daily basis. I trust that He will never leave me. All is well in my life today. Thank you God for Al-Anon!
ls
ACCEPTING STEP TWO
It took a long time to apply Step Two in my life. I have always believed in God. A power greater than myslf was quite a different concept to me. But the more I thought about it, of course, God is indeed a power greater than myself.
Whoa…! I put the brakes on when it came to the phrase: “could return me to sanity.” Me insane? I agonized over this for awhile, then looked up the word in my dictionary. It says: “the absence of reality.” After more reasoning about this, I had to agree that I had not faced the reality of what was happening in my life. I had stuffed all the hurts, resentments and angers I accumulated during the drinking years, and even some before that. This is what made me so sick without realizing it until I got into Al-Anon after my husband joined Alcoholics Anonymous.
When I became more honest with myself I realized I was not the “near perfect” person I thought I was. Many of my actions were not reaIistic. I asked for God’s to help me become a more loving, respectful and trusting person. Above all I asked God to help me be more accepting of people different from me.
There were many other problems I discovered and tried to correct by really believing that a power greater than myself could return me to sanity/reality. But I have to do my part in recognizing any misconceptions about situations in my life. By doing this I feel much better about myself. I would never been blessed in this way without putting Al-Anon to work in my life.
Anonymous, Northern California
I never thought I was “insane”. For three years I have tried to gain control over my husband’s developing alcohol problem. I kept forgiving him over and over each time he did me wrong, each time expecting things to get better. He would do something to hurt me, and then beg for forgiveness and promise he would change. Soon after, he would get drunk and do the same hurtful things over again. I allowed this to go on for three years! Three years of stress and pain! Three years of false hope and denial! Three years of insanity… I can’t believe it.
I love the Lord, and if not for my faith, my church, and my pastor, I would have given up a long time ago. I do believe that God can restore me to sanity. This step is a reminder that I am not alone and that the insanity can end. I cant keep going on the same way forever. With God all things are possible. With God, I can have the strength to resist next time my husband tries to suck me back in to his chaos.
I am leading a meeting on Step 2 tonight and by reading the comments here have given me an easier job of doing so. I actually knew I was insane when I walked into Alanon but
didn’t know why. I believed I could fix my alcoholic and did everything I thought possible to do so. My life was unmanageable and I needed help. Alanon did just that. It taught me to focus on myself and believe in a higher power. I say the Serenity Prayer everyday and ask
my higher power for me to listen to his will, not mine.
I have been attempting step 2 for a long time. It hasn’t been as easy and as forthcoming as I thought it would be. I have caught myself driving or going about mindless thoughtless tasks saying to myself “Let go and Let God” over and over. It is working, but slowly.
I am not only religious but spiritual, but that does not mean I’m intelligent in my practices. I find I am often misguided and usually it is by mself. I pray all the time, but I don’t know what to ask. I ask God to help my spouse and to restore him to the man I know him to be. I ask God to save myself and save him. I get my head to involved in the heart and I find myself asking “How do you let your soulmate suffer?” How can I just walk away? He is the one I meant to spend my life with and I took a vow to love, honor and cherish. Part of the insanity is staying and not assigning responsibility to him as a part of this relationship. I’ve prayed to God to restore myself. I know I cannot “fix” or control the situation anymore or my husband’s choices. I cannot allow my life to pass by while my husband tries to figure out his. I pray to leave this situation behind regardless of if it means to stay with him or not.
Eleanor Roosevelt has a prayer/poem with a couple of the lines, “Draw us from base content and set our eyes on far off goals. Keep us at tasks too hard for us that we may be driven to Thee for strength.” I’ve drawn so much strength from these lines, but I find my method of trying to enact these lines misdirects and my controlling nature takes over. In turn, that sends me into an insanity that I cannot handle. I get so involved and play out so many strategies that I forget the part of allowing God to take over.
I recently left home to go work in a foreign country. Many or my family and friends told me that I shouldn’t, that I had to face my problems. They told me to remain home. But, whole heartedly and still I believe I did the best thing for me. I left. I will have to return, but I left the problem where it was with my husband. I said a prayer, I prayed with him. I prayed with other people, but I left. Wouldn’t you know it, part of the problem followed me! I can say that with excitement, because I know that part of the problem will always be with me. I feel as if I lost a part of myself when my husband took up the bottle and never put it down. I was robbed of my dreams, my inspirations and my hopes of a family. I cannot alllow my failures to hold me back from asking God to help. And I have. I don’t know where that is going to leave me. I have no idea if I will have the dreams met that I dreamt up for us or for me. I have to let those things go. I wanted to be successful and be married to someone equally successful and full of energy. I’m drained and I haven’t seen my husband try anything for awhile without being pushed. His parents and eeveryone have always handed him everything and then I stepped in and did the same thing.
It wouldn’t have mattered if I would have married another man, I think I would have made the same mistake. I would have married someone that I had to take care of. I was wrong. I apologize to God, to my husband and the other family and friends that I have shared a codependency with. It was wrong of me. It was wrong. I’ve enabled a lot of behaviour and took on a lot of problems that weren’t mine to own. I cannot fix the world or anyone else.
God, I ask you to keep me at tasks bigger than myself so I must rely on you, but I pray to know when I need to step back and allow you to make the call. That is and should remain my deepest prayer.
Step two is a wonderful step as it gives me a blueprint to restored sanity, which I truly need after years of obsessing, agonizing and worrying about the alcoholic in my life. I feel that I am on the path to sanity though I still have a ways to go. These podcasts and blogs are yet another great al-anon tool to fill the time between meetings and help “right” my thinking when I am feeling a little off. I pray to my higher power every day, to thank him for the many blessings in my life and to place the alcoholic in my life out of my hands and into God’s hands, where she belongs.
Service in Al-Anon is a great teacher of Step 2. Soon after joining Al-Anon I started taking on service positions. I quickly learned that every service position is a group effort. None of us are expected to do it alone, EVER. What a great gift this is. I am sitting in my office in Africa, over a thousand miles from the nearest Al-Anon meeting but I am not alone and I don’t have to make decisions alone. Step 2 talks about believing in a power greater than ourselves and Tradition 2 gives a description of this one authority, a loving God as expressed in our group conscience. I often walk into meetings at work not sure what I can bring of value. My insanity is to the drop into feeling worthless but my belief in my loving God as expressed in my head filled with your voices of 21 years of attending meetings and doing Al-Anon service holds my self esteem up and restores me to sanity.
I believe my higher power gets me through everyday one at a time. I often forget I’m not going at this on my own but my higher power reminds me in the smallest and most powerful ways. I’m glad I not alone because I can make a mess of things. Thanks for being here.
RIGHT ON ! JOHN B. thank you for ya comment !