Dec 05 2013

Using Step Twelve

Published by at 12:04 pm under Using the Steps

“Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to others, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.”

Welcome to Using Al-Anon’s Twelve Steps in Our Personal Lives from Al-Anon Family Groups. This is a series of podcasts to discuss how Al-Anon members use the basic principles of Al-Anon.

Today we’re going to ask Al-Anon members how they used Step Twelve to help them overcome the impacts of a loved one’s drinking.

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6 comments

6 comments on “Using Step Twelve”

  1. Lori says:

    So grateful to be able to read this today. I went to work without any literature. Thank you for writing the comments and thank you to my Higher Power.

  2. Tina says:

    Before learning the Twelve Steps and attending meetings, I lived in constant fear, isolation, and pretense as I hypervigilantly reassured myself I was okay. I did not believe it 100% about myself or others.

    The meetings, literature, Steps, slogans and neutral/compassionate presence of others allowed me to develop trust in others, myself and a higher power. Previously my fear, anxiety and insecurities caused intense reactions whenever I was around other people or surroundings I was unfamiliar with.

    As my trust and confidence grows, these feelings subside. I get to show up at meetings with serenity and an ability to respond with new choices that help me live freer and more productively! My Al-Anon family group is loving me into wholeness by their sharing and listening and I am learning to love myself in a way I never thought, yet always dreamed possible.

  3. Bob M. says:

    When my soul, my spirit, my personality is awoken to my reactions and my attitude and perception changes. When the other person is no longer a jerk but has a soul sickness. When I use these tools to keep the focus on my self care.

  4. lyn says:

    Found the part of the “four parts” really helpful. It affirms for me that the Steps are an important part of my recovery and take time to do thoroughly.

    It took me a long time to gain a change of attitude and at times I still struggle. However, I keep on trying. Using the day at a time helps me to concentrate on the fact that I don’t have to accomplish it all at once as I have done in the past (my perfectionism) and I give myself permission to take it slowly.

    Having had a spiritual awakening as such is for me such a comfort as it tells me that not only am I loved by a higher being but that I am worth being acknowledged as a human being. I can relate to this and the preamble where it states, “We are not perfect.” So true as I wouldn’t want to be and now know I don’t have to be. I don’t have to be a people pleaser and I can make choices that are the best for me (without harming others).

    I try to carry the message by example and this helps me to keep my hands off others’ business, which in turn keeps me aware of “my control” and the distress that goes with this when I try to “fix others.” Within my family it has caused much conflict when I state an opinion and then am criticised. I find this difficult when I try to change and it isn’t received very well. However, with a loving God and perserverence I continue to keep working the programme.

  5. Nancy says:

    Thank you for sharing. Awesome

  6. Eileen says:

    To me Step Twelve has 4 parts:
    1. “Having had a spiritual awakening” –which says that I have had a change of attitude.
    2. “As the result of these steps” –It doesn’t say “a” result, it says “the” result, so the primary purpose of working the steps is a spiritual awakening.
    3. “We tried to carry this message to others” –we all carry a message of some kind. For some it’s the message of recovery and for some it isn’t. My actions are the message I carry and they speak louder than all the words I say.
    4. “And to practice these principles in all our affairs” –The principles of the program are not limited to my interaction with the alcoholics in my life. They are a tool box for living a better life and as long as I figure out which tool I need to use for any given situation, my life and the lives of those around me will benefit.

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