Feb 01 2013

Using Step Two

Published by at 11:01 am under Using the Steps

“Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves
could restore us to sanity.”

Welcome to Using Al-Anon’s Twelve Steps in Our Personal Lives. This is a series of podcasts to discuss how Al-Anon members use the basic principles of Al-Anon.

Today we’re going to ask Al-Anon members how they used Step Two to help them overcome the impacts of a loved one’s drinking.

How to locate an Al-Anon meeting

 

The following tags are aids to navigation for other podcasts in this series.

13 comments

13 comments on “Using Step Two”

  1. Rose says:

    I came across these podcasts today as I am reaching out to regain my sanity. These Steps work. I practiced them with my dad, and then an alcoholic husband 20+ years ago. Life as a single parent got too busy to keep up with meetings, then remarriage brought new joy and I thought I’d be fine with just prayer.

    Today I realize I have slipped back to the insanity of control and worry for my adult children who are active in the disease. I did my best job parenting and now my job is to live my life and not try to control or save theirs. It hurts more to see the kids fall in the same pit. The pain reminds me this problem is so unmanageable and I can’t control it. Al-Anon worked before to help me see I didn’t cause it, can’t cure it or control it. I’m coming back to the Steps in action. Thank you.

  2. debra says:

    Surrender and serenity are my higher power today!

  3. Denise says:

    I just found Al-Anon, and am listening to this, the Second Step.

    I have a strong religious background from my childhood, but left after my baby girl died, my (now ex) husband had a mental breakdown, both grandfathers died, we were the first ones to move into a new subdivision where I became the “go to” person for the next 10 new neighbors moving in for loaning out playpens, extra blankets, babysitting service, and hot food while people were waiting on their furniture to arrive. I was also the landscaping manager for my dad’s business, which I did out of my home, and my youngest brother was in a wreck that broke every bone in his body and ended up living with my husband and I while he recovered which involved having a day nurse and physical therapist come to my house every single day for 3 months. All of that took place in the span of one year. I hardly remember even being able to escape to the bathroom for some private time! My husband also had weekend parties every weekend, and I had two little ones to take care of while he and his buddies were busy drinking and trashing the house, and then fussed and cussed if the house wasn’t spit-polished clean by the time he sobered up enough to go to work Monday morning.

    My 28-year-old son is an alcoholic, and his 30-year-old half-sister is on meth. Their father is an alcoholic, as were both of his parents, my dad, and one of my older brothers. I am a control freak, as were my parents. Due to my disability, I live with my mother, who has borderline personality disorder, so we are just a bunch of mental crazies, and I am so tired of it all!

    I do not attend church because of a physical disability, so found an online church I attend that is helping to increase my faith. It is just a relief to know that I am not alone — That I do not have to “deal” with anything on my own. Maybe something “out there” can help me learn how to get my crazy life straightened out.

    Thank you for this site. I’ll be looking for a local Al-Anon group to join.

  4. Lesley says:

    I have just listened to the podcast on Step Two. I am going to my Al-Anon meeting tomorrow night and am doing the introductory share on the subject of my Higher Power and on the subject of The Things I Cannot Change. It was really useful to hear the podcast and to read the comments posted by other people. I am glad I looked at the comment guidelines as I thought I could just share other people’s comments when really what I need to remember is I can share about me. Many of the points people are making in the podcast and in the comments resonate with me–so, thank you. It is good to know I am not alone.

  5. Jen says:

    I’m so grateful to have this available to me whenever I need a meeting.

    I was dealing today with my daughter and her fiancé, both in recovery and new parents of twins.

    I needed to Let Go and Let God this morning, but also felt my heartstrings pulled. After getting off the phone with her, I went to this pod cast and heard exactly what I needed to hear.

    Thank you, Al-Anon, for being here for me today.

  6. Nina says:

    I hear this all the time. I am a 20+ member of Al-Anon. What I mean when I said that I hear this all the time is my Higher Power, who I call God, is there. This podcast proved it to me.

    I’ve been struggling lately with life in general, loneliness, physical ailments that have not allowed me to get to my regular meeting and I have become quite isolated, even at work. I just posted on Facebook how I’m feeling low. I can’t even get up the courage to call someone. Always has been a problem for me. All of a sudden I see this podcast in my e-mail. My Higher Power is there!! Thank you for your comments.

    What hit me most was the comment about not being able to still my mind. I do believe in my Higher Power, but I just don’t feel like He is helping me. I keep telling Him to shout the answers to me–my mind is so jumbled.

    I began Al-Anon in the mid 80’s when I was married to an active alcoholic. We have been divorced approx. 10 years. He is now sober and clean and still has much contact with me and his 2 sons. So, that is a bit of my background.

  7. Laura says:

    My recent experience with Step Two brought me to clarity and a personal awakening. I was given a red dice with the numbers 1 through 12 on it by a loving 12-Step person going into a weekend of spiritual recovery. I was surprised by this gift, but quickly stayed open for the message.

    I thought I was doing well with a situation, but I knew down deep inside insanity was circling her ugly head again. I’ve had experience with serenity and sanity and longed to feel that again. I was seeking guidance in my own personal recovery and I knew that I had to stay open. So I tossed the red dice and the number two popped up.

    I was actually delighted to have a direction to seek some guidance about my situation now. I also knew that the unmanageability was creeping back in. So I opened up my book, “Paths to Recovery,” with my journal and a pen. What became clear was I was still in my distorted thinking of taking on someone else’s problems and life. I had started to own it. And by owning someone else’s life it had clicked in all my defects of character I had thought were removed.

    Well, with the understanding of my personal insanity of the repeated behavior of taking on someone else’s problems, I became judgemental, controlling, frustrated, angry, catty, and negative. All behaviors that robbed me of the gifts of this program–which are sanity, serenity, peace joy and hope.

    The relief I felt with the understanding that I had picked up my disease again and that I could work though this with Step Two was comforting–a renewed sense of peace. Being guided by a power greater then myself and restored to sanity was welcome. Just because one has been in the program for a few years doesn’t guarantee that sanity and serenity will stay.

    The sanity I experience when working the Steps is a daily practice, much like the loving family members work on their recovery and sobriety. I’m grateful for the moments that I don’t always get it, for then comes the clarity afterward when the sanity is restored. I’m a work-in-progress and grateful for that. Always a member of this wonderful fellowship of Al-Anon.

  8. Cynthia says:

    Out of town helping daughter with new baby. It was great to have the podcast when I am away from my meetings for 2 weeks. I had always had a belief in a higher power. But for some reason I felt I was lacking in faith if I felt I could not handle my problems as well as all of those around me.

    Because of working Step Two, I was finally able to recognize that my higher power was indeed stronger and more powerful than me. I recognized and accepted that only by realizing not only was I not alone, but I was trying to be the higher power when I tried to do it all myself.

  9. Adriana says:

    I am from Brazil and I hope my English is good enough to be understood. First of all, I want to thank you for sending me this podcast. My father is an alcoholic, but he hasn’t been drinking for almost 20 years. Today I am 42, so he quit drinking when I was 22 years old. My childhood was terrible because of my father’s sickness. He used to drink too much and he used to break thinks at home if we disagreed with his opinions.

    I started going to Al-Anon meetings here in Brazil when I was 39 or 40 years old because my mother asked me to go. She thought that the program could be useful for me because I was very affected by my father’s alcoholism, but my group didn’t have alcoholics’ children to share experiences with me. So I quit going after a year, however I still try to have the Twelve Steps working in my life. And Step Two is very important for everybody and at the same time it is very difficult, for me. I am grateful to God. I thank Him every day for everything I have in life, but sometimes it is so difficult. Thank you all. And good night!

  10. Sheila says:

    I have just started listening to the pod cast and have attended 1 Al-Anon meeting this week. I have admitted I am powerless over alcohol not sure I have accepted it. Just have questions about a situation I am in today. My son is the alcoholic in my life. He is 35 yrs old going through a divorce, has 3 children which he should be getting today for his visit, his weekend, I have a feeling he is drinking. I have left 2 phone messages and no return calls to me and I am concerned he may be drinking and driving but I don’t know any of that for sure. I guess I just want someone to tell me I am suppose to let go of this. I cannot control the situation, I know, but it is very difficult.

  11. Hana says:

    My qualifier left my life almost a year ago. Although I did not stop coming to Al-Anon meetings, somehow I thought that the crazy part of everyday dealing with an alcoholic is over.

    Today I realized that there is another alcoholic in my life–he has always been there, he was just overshadowed by the more active, crazier one. Deep sadness entered my day. But then I realized that I am ok, I have my Higher Power to turn to. I can put a prayer for my newly discovered alcoholic out there and let it go.

    I am very grateful for my journey in Al-Anon and the Steps that help me to deal with everyday life. There will always be alcoholics around me, but I can deal with their disease now. I have my Higher Power to turn to and do not have to make my life unmanageable. Thank you for this podcast.

  12. Amy C. says:

    I am so grateful for the opportunity to hear this recording today. I’m a newcomer working Step Two for the first time and even though I really need to, I can’t get to a meeting today. This helped a lot and felt like going to a mini meeting. Thank you!

  13. marilee p says:

    Most interesting! Thank you.

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